Independence

     I was inspired to write this post, by a very bright, very curious young woman, whose blog I commented on. I had been hoping for a comment on one of my posts, and what she gave me, was a full fledged letter, asking lots of questions. I like that in a person. I'll admit, my first instinct upon writing this, was to use a lot of fancy words, perfect punctuation (good luck with that!), and excellent grammar. Then I realized something. I'm writing about being independent. Independence is less a physical state, than it is a state of mind. I've always been an independent thinker, and I hope other people are too. As such, if my writing doesn't appeal to others, they have the choice not to read it. (which seems to be the action of choice, for most). What matters to me, is that I am free to write it, and since there are people out there risking their lives everyday to give me that freedom, I feel compelled to take advantage of it.
     In order to make myself less creeperish to those bloggers I follow, I'll give out some personal info. I will say upfront, that sharing personal information isn't really my style, and I LOVED the idea of being a "troll", but in the interest of setting your minds to rest, I'll tell you that I'm not some freaky literature groupie. I'm the 47 year old mother, of one of Dr, Preston's English students. My Sneetchface persona was adopted, because I have a certain amount of paranoia, and a history of getting myself kicked out of public forums. I can't read print, but I have a text to speech program, that makes you all sound like female robots. (yeah guys, you too) Before my vision loss, I taught Kindergarten. Since then I spent several years working in a jewelry store we owned, and being a "domestic goddess".  Personally, I'd rather be a troll. :)
     On the subject of independence, I surprisingly (for once) have little to offer in the way of enlightenment. Up until a few years ago, I had guide dogs, and that gave me the independence to travel places on my own. Not far afield really, but I was able to walk to stores, and do a lot of shopping by myself. I do require some help with the shopping at times, since there is a lot of similarity between canned carrots, and canned sweet potatoes (barf!) as far as bad vision, and colored labels are concerned. Also, creamed corn is NOT as good as regular corn. Don't be fooled! I hate asking for help, or looking helpless. Worse yet, I hate FEELING helpless. Luckily, that very seldom happens, because I have something better than vision. I have an aura of confidence. I'm physically strong, imposing, and not afraid of much. Mentally, I'm a mess a lot of the time, with a lot of fears and insecurities.
    I live fairly independently, asking little in the way of concessions, even from my family. I can drive, but since the DMV disagrees, and they haven't invented the Nerf car yet, I leave the driving to others. I helped my kids with their homework, before they became smarter than me (which didn't take long), and I memorized Dr. Seuss books so I could "read" to them when they were little. I don't do much cooking, or cleaning. This is not because of my vision loss, but simply because I hate doing it. I take care of my animals, and even clean the dog run. (which makes me wish I'd lost my sense of smell as well!) In short (too late!) I'm not quite as independent as some, yet more so than others.
     One thing I do have, perhaps more than many people I know, is an independent spirit. I'm not shy about speaking my mind, questioning authority, making a stand, or instigating change. I vote religiously, and not by mail. I LOVE the feeling of handing in that ballot, of being part of a nation where I have a right to do that. I never take my rights, or the rights of others for granted, and I love my country, and the diversity within it. Yes, I AM a Democrat. :) My independence doesn't come from "overcoming" my blindness, it comes from deep inside me, and from being fortunate to live in a country that fosters it. Man, is it just me, or do I sound like I'm running for congress? lol! Thank you Ashlie, I enjoyed writing this.