Independence

     I was inspired to write this post, by a very bright, very curious young woman, whose blog I commented on. I had been hoping for a comment on one of my posts, and what she gave me, was a full fledged letter, asking lots of questions. I like that in a person. I'll admit, my first instinct upon writing this, was to use a lot of fancy words, perfect punctuation (good luck with that!), and excellent grammar. Then I realized something. I'm writing about being independent. Independence is less a physical state, than it is a state of mind. I've always been an independent thinker, and I hope other people are too. As such, if my writing doesn't appeal to others, they have the choice not to read it. (which seems to be the action of choice, for most). What matters to me, is that I am free to write it, and since there are people out there risking their lives everyday to give me that freedom, I feel compelled to take advantage of it.
     In order to make myself less creeperish to those bloggers I follow, I'll give out some personal info. I will say upfront, that sharing personal information isn't really my style, and I LOVED the idea of being a "troll", but in the interest of setting your minds to rest, I'll tell you that I'm not some freaky literature groupie. I'm the 47 year old mother, of one of Dr, Preston's English students. My Sneetchface persona was adopted, because I have a certain amount of paranoia, and a history of getting myself kicked out of public forums. I can't read print, but I have a text to speech program, that makes you all sound like female robots. (yeah guys, you too) Before my vision loss, I taught Kindergarten. Since then I spent several years working in a jewelry store we owned, and being a "domestic goddess".  Personally, I'd rather be a troll. :)
     On the subject of independence, I surprisingly (for once) have little to offer in the way of enlightenment. Up until a few years ago, I had guide dogs, and that gave me the independence to travel places on my own. Not far afield really, but I was able to walk to stores, and do a lot of shopping by myself. I do require some help with the shopping at times, since there is a lot of similarity between canned carrots, and canned sweet potatoes (barf!) as far as bad vision, and colored labels are concerned. Also, creamed corn is NOT as good as regular corn. Don't be fooled! I hate asking for help, or looking helpless. Worse yet, I hate FEELING helpless. Luckily, that very seldom happens, because I have something better than vision. I have an aura of confidence. I'm physically strong, imposing, and not afraid of much. Mentally, I'm a mess a lot of the time, with a lot of fears and insecurities.
    I live fairly independently, asking little in the way of concessions, even from my family. I can drive, but since the DMV disagrees, and they haven't invented the Nerf car yet, I leave the driving to others. I helped my kids with their homework, before they became smarter than me (which didn't take long), and I memorized Dr. Seuss books so I could "read" to them when they were little. I don't do much cooking, or cleaning. This is not because of my vision loss, but simply because I hate doing it. I take care of my animals, and even clean the dog run. (which makes me wish I'd lost my sense of smell as well!) In short (too late!) I'm not quite as independent as some, yet more so than others.
     One thing I do have, perhaps more than many people I know, is an independent spirit. I'm not shy about speaking my mind, questioning authority, making a stand, or instigating change. I vote religiously, and not by mail. I LOVE the feeling of handing in that ballot, of being part of a nation where I have a right to do that. I never take my rights, or the rights of others for granted, and I love my country, and the diversity within it. Yes, I AM a Democrat. :) My independence doesn't come from "overcoming" my blindness, it comes from deep inside me, and from being fortunate to live in a country that fosters it. Man, is it just me, or do I sound like I'm running for congress? lol! Thank you Ashlie, I enjoyed writing this.

To Blog, or Not to Blog

     To blog, or not to blog, that is the question. It seems the answer is... "Tough crap! You have to!" At least according to some TEACHERS.
Here is where I'm having an issue. Is it right to "require" (aka "force") blogging, for a good grade in a class? Should writing out your thought and ideas, and sending them into the ether of cyberspace, make the difference between an A, or a crappy grade that will keep you out of the college of your choice? Personally, I say "Hell no!" What kind of self expression would you put into your writing, if you knew the teacher was going to make a hundred copies of your work, and post them up and down the halls of your school? I'm guessing you wouldn't be too anxious to show your sensitivity and insecurities, to the myriad of bullies and the entire football team. (unless high school has changed dramatically since I went there).
     Now, some people might use the argument that, "A profile can be private" Seriously, don't kid yourselves! I recently listened to an article, that was linked to, by an English teacher. This article was a multiple paragraph tirade on the uselessness of passwords, and internet security. It seems a little ironic then, that he would REQUIRE his students to place their work into such an unstable, and unsafe environment. You see my point? I think my comments to a recent post on his classroom blog, were deleted because of safety concerns. Fair enough! Maybe even a good idea. Parent's could be nervous about a subversive, or outspoken stranger interacting with their kids. I have a kid in the class btw, and I know there is no way to keep your kid in a bubble of innocence, but I understand their reasoning.
    I love blogging. Well, I love ranting really, and a blog gives me a way to do that without ranting to only my helpless family, and pets. I'm a rabble-rouser, and subversive by nature. To be honest, I might overdo it sometimes, hence my being banned from several public and private forums, both on the internet, and IRL. I have brought about change in a lot of situations though, and that makes it seem worthwhile, at least to me. I enjoy playing the devil's advocate, so sometimes I'll take the opposing view, just to be a pain in the ass. 
     The point I'm trying to make with this interminable diatribe, is that putting your writing, your thoughts, your ideas, into an electronic jungle of weirdos, perverts and unsafe passwords, should be OPTIONAL! If you're like me, and you don't give a damn who sees or comments on your stuff, then fine, have at it. Remember though, just because you're a high school kid, that doesn't give anyone the right to require you to share yourself with the world. It really doesn't. You all seem like geniuses to me, and I know you want to get into good colleges. It's never easy to question, or disagree with authority. I get that. I'm just saying, from my perspective, that I don't remember with fondness the times as a teenager, where I sat back, and went along with things because I felt I had to. What I remember now, are the times when I stood up for my opinions about what I thought was right, or wrong. Most importantly, I remember the times I stood up for others, when they were afraid to stand up for themselves. You have a choice, even now,  to make the kind of memories you'll be proud of. Choose wisely!

Dr. Preston, Friend or Foe?

I'm sure a lot of you out there consider Dr. Preston to be the best teacher you've ever had. (not counting that teacher you had a crush on in first grade) I don't know him personally, but from everything I've heard, he deserves your admiration and respect. I'll be honest here, he scares the crap out of me! He's been successful in the business world, and the world of academia as well. He's smart, and funny, and well read, and to top it all off, he sounds decently cool. (show off) The sad truth is, he intimidates me. Could he out-bullshit me, or beat me at arm wrestling? Probably not. Could he compete with me when it comes to ranting? I seriously doubt it. However, in the grand scheme of things, he's basically going to make me look bad. As a kid I loved to read! I would read a couple of books a week, and I could write a pretty kickass book report. (usually in the bus, on the way to school) For the last twenty five years though, I've been limited to audio books, due to my vision loss. For someone like me, an unabridged book on CD, is a big luxury. Getting an audio book from the library is no picnic either. Once you've gone as long as I have, without seeing print, your spelling and punctuation go to hell. Strike one for me. Twenty years of being a housewife, (I prefer the term "domestic goddess") has left my social, and conversational skills, pretty rusty. Strike two. Having very few friends, and even less contact with strangers, makes me suspicious , and paranoid. Strike three! I'm out. There have been things that Dr, Preston has said or done, that I really loved. There have been other times, when I have ranted for half an hour straight, when his words, or actions, really pissed me off! I have to say, for someone I've never met, Dr. Preston seems to have impacted my life, to an extent. I guess that says a lot about him, and I think he deserves props for it. Is he a friend, or a foe? Maybe it doesn't matter, since I'm not even a blip on his radar. Still, I think maybe a friend is someone you can get pissed at, and still respect. I guess I'll go with "friend".
UPDATE!!!
I left a couple of threaded comments on the lit class blog, and now they're gone. Conspiracy? You be the judge :)

Suck It Facebook

I just thought I'd point out to everyone who stumbled across this blog by accident (you know you did!), that I will NOT be asking you to "Like me on Facebook". The fact is..... NOBODY likes me on Facebook. Hell, even Facebook itself, doesn't like me! True story! I've been banned from Facebook. Banished. Exiled. Cast out. into the faceless, nameless, postless purgatory of the Facebook rejects. Now, I'm unable to post 50 pics of my cat, wearing funny hats, with captions such as "I looks purrrrdy" or "I likezez my hatzez". I have no way to inform my friends and family about life changing events, like how the weather is here, where I'd like to go on vacation, and how much it cost to get the car repaired. Saddest of all, I am unable to update my close, not so close, and incredibly remote friends, and loved ones, concerning my current standings in Texas Hold'em Poker, or Animal Farm. (yeah yeah... I think that's the wrong name, but again, I'm not on fricken Facebook!) That's right people, no sending cartoon animal pics, or birthday balloon drawings, or 'pokes", for me. So, what does this mean for you... the innocent blog reader? It means that you can't "Like me on Facebook", and I can't "Like you on Facebook" either. The good news is, I can't "Dislike you on Facebook", and lets face it.... don't I just seem like someone who would?

A Jury of Your Peers?

Here's a thought. "who is the best judge of your writing, or your thoughts on writing?" Interesting question right? Is it your parents? Well, they have known you all your life, and they do know a lot about your life experiences. They pretty much know how your mind works (when it works), and let's face it.... they are SO totally cool! Okay yeah, they aren't! Plus, it's been awhile since they had to navigate the treacherous hallways of a high school. So, maybe it's your teachers? After all, they've been well educated in the subject. They know all about high school, since they are forced to go there everyday, in order to eek out a meager living for themselves and their families. They've read lots of books, and have had years to dwell on the subject. Plus, they really are cool, right? No?! Yeah, I didn't think so. So, how about your PEERS? That's perfect right? You blog, they blog. You comment, they comment You care what they think and.... Uh oh! I think I see the flaw in this arrangement! Seriously, if you've just poured out your soul onto a computer screen, or a piece of paper (you guys remember paper right?), do you really want it critiqued by the kid that ate crayons in your kindergarten class? What about the kid in 5th grade that always forgot his backpack? Maybe the kid in junior high who thought he was all that, because he snuck out and got drunk with his friends every weekend? Really, do I even NEED to point out your high school peers? So, who does that leave to critique your work? Everyone, and no one. Confused? It's simple. Write what YOU think, what you care about, what you love, what's inside YOU. Does it matter who comments on it? No. Does it matter if anyone reads your blog? (myself as the example here) No again. Do you need other people to validate what you choose to express in your writing, or to tell you what an author "meant", or to tell you which books are  important? No, no, and no! Parents, teachers, peers (like that kid who sits next to you in English, and plays with a gum wrapper all period), are not who you are writing for. You're writing for yourself, and all the other kids (and even adults), who's voices are lost in the haze of blogs and comments, and Facebook posts. Don't give up. Some of us out here.... still want to hear what YOU have to say!
UPDATE!!!!
I left a couple of comments on the lit class blog, and now they're gone. Conspiracy? You be the judge :)

Googling for the Visually Impaired

You just know that everyone who reads this (if anyone does), is thinking, "WTF? Blind people can't Google!" Ah ha! See, that's where your wrong. Not only CAN we Google.... we totally kick ass at it! Oh, and we blind people ALL know about the CTRL+F thing. That's baby stuff. Why are we so good at Googling? Glad you asked! The trick to searching on Google, is not to read anything. No joke! Seriously, just type in whatever random crap you're looking for, click the second link that comes up, and believe every word they say. Will it all be correct? No! Will it makes sense to you? Probably not. Will it be good enough to get you by in a world where everyone believes everything they read on a computer? Absolutely! :) So, the moral of the blog is, "We are all visually impaired. Embrace it!"

Just a thought... if you are going to come up with a url, don't try and use every letter in the alphabet! Seriously, It doesn't matter if it spells out your name, and school, and room number, and home address, and the name of your childhood pet! If you want people to be able to remember it, be creative, but keep it short!

I am GOD here!

My blog is more awesome than colleenliving's blog! She thinks she is so cool cuz she has a pic. She's NOT! I am GOD here!